Keer "Unplugged"

I haven't been for quite some time because of the big bru-ha-ha a few years back about the book they sell about ped*phil*a. I don't even know what all came of that, but I just remember that basically their argument was, "Tough." Sort of a "we're this huge conglomerate, so you don't scare us," type of attitude. So when I can I try to do business elsewhere. Not a boycott per se, but just trying to make wiser use of my money.

So then Chewy Mom told about an experience with Amazon.com that SO does not surprise me:

P.S. As an addendum to this story, I have since received a response to my email that basically said, that’s our policy, deal with it. And please continue to let us serve you in the future. Ummm…no thanks.

My dh also called and spoke with an employee who reiterated the point that “Amazon is always right, the customer is wrong, and we can screw you because we are big.”

And then today I read at Michelle Malkin this lovely tidbit of information:

Where is Amazon.com? And how about Yahoo!? Microsoft? Dell? Cisco? Countless readers and a few bloggers have wondered why these tech companies, which stepped up the plate to help raise millions of dollars for tsunami victims last year, have not yet set up fund-raising efforts.

Let's concentrate on urging Amazon.com to set up a one-click donation similar to its tsunami relief effort. Send an e-mail to Amazon.com here.

130pm EDT update: Just saw this on Information Week. Amazon.com says it doesn't plan on helping with the Katrina relief efforts. The article notes that other tech companies are not jumping in to help:

[M]ainstream Web sites that had jumped to pull in money for the tsunami victims showed no evidence of repeating it here in the U.S. for Katrina's. Amazon.com, which raised more than $14 million for the American Red Cross in January via a donation link on its home page, didn't have one as of mid-day Monday. Nor did Google, Yahoo, MSN, or eBay, all of which hustled earlier in the year to put up donation links on their portals. (Google slapped up an "Information about Hurricane Katrina" link on its Spartan home page, but that led to news sources and stories.)

An Amazon spokesperson said that the online retailer had no plans to post a donation link on its site. "Each case is different," she said. "The Red Cross has essentially given over its entire site to donations. The tsunami came out of the blue, so it was an 'all hands on deck' situation, but the Red Cross has been getting ready for this and getting its message out there for several days."

So, needless to say, Amazon has re-motivated me to spend my money elsewhere.

[Update: Amazon.com changes its mind. Thanks to all who wrote in]

I told my dh last night that I've had to almost PURPOSEFULLY not think about Hurricane Katrina, or it overwhelms me. But boy I tell ya, I've been just burdened for these people. I couldn't stand it anymore when I saw this man telling how he couldn't find his wife's body. The reporter had just stopped him on the street and asked how he was doing. She had no idea what she had gotten herself into and ended up crying along with him. Dh and I joined them both.

Blestwithsons opened my eyes to why many of these people stayed behind. It's so ridiculously obvious yet I'm so spoiled that it passed me by:

My friend and I were discussing all the people that were shown being rescued. "Why didn’t they leave?" she said. And I was struck by a ridiculously fresh thought. "They couldn’t afford to," I said to her, "Look at the people." The refugees shown on the television were obviously not what you would call well-to-do. It is unimaginable to me. I have never known hunger. I have never known a single day of wondering where my next meal or my rent check is coming from. Yeah sure, I had some tense moments now and again where I had overspent on little treats and had to do some juggling to make sure the rent check cleared - but never any real financial worries. Color me shamefully obtuse, but it never occurred to me that people couldn’t just whip out the plastic, head down the road, and go visit family or friends. (Or do like we did when we avoided Hurricane Isabella, head down the road to a hotel and have some fun! Go to museums, eat at restaurants, and swim in the hotel pool… ) The idea of having nowhere to go, and no resources to go with… I can’t process it.

As I loaded the dishwasher and prepared supper (with running water and electricity), I just cried and prayed. I wanted to do something but didn't even know where to begin.

And then I stumbled upon a post at Daddypundit:

As Hurricane Katrina becomes the most destructive hurricane ever, relief workers are rushing to the Gulf Coast to help out. Bloggers can help by joining Blog Relief Day tomorrow which is an idea first proposed by Hugh Hewitt and seconded by Glenn Reynolds.

Here's how it works: each blogger will select a charity to encourage readers to contribute to for relief effort. Glenn Reynolds has posted a list of charities providing relief. Pick one and then go to the Truth Laid Bear registration page to register your blog and the charity that you will be supporting. Then post throughout the day and encourage readers to contribute to your charity.

La Shawn Barber is encouraging us to do the same:

Tomorrow bloggers will unite in a hurricane relief day to blog and give to the charities of their choice.

So I CAN do something in addition to praying. I have chosen Samaritan's Purse as my charity. To donate click here.

Technorati tags: flood aid, hurricane katrina

I've been hearing a lot lately about Starbucks making a comeback in the "gay pride" department. *big sigh* (Actually that sigh is on behalf of my dh. I'm not a coffee drinker, but he makes up for me LOL!) Crystal tells more about it here.

You Are Likely A Fourth Born

At your darkest moments, you feel angry. At work and school, you do best when your analyzing. When you love someone, you tend to be very giving. In friendship, you don't take the initiative in reaching out. Your ideal jobs are: factory jobs, comedy, and dentistry. You will leave your mark on the world with your own personal philosophy.

Wrongo, Bongo. I'm the oldest of 2. LOL!

I've come across a couple of blogposts recently that really strike a chord with me, and I thought it interesting how well they "jive." Patrick at Tent Pegs discusses legalism and how it "looks":

Legalism is not a love of the law. It is not wanting to do the right thing to please Jesus. Legalism is saying that you must have Jesus AND.... or that you can't have Jesus UNTIL... and then placing barriers around the would-be disciple.

Meanwhile, Cindy at Dominion Family shares how it has been hard for her family to find a church because they have high standards but hate true legalism.

I have found most families to be a mixed bag of standards and very often it is hard to figure out why a family doesn't do one thing but does do another. I know from the outside that is how our family looks.

I've seen all of that in action, from both sides. I've been called legalistic because of certain standards that I have. I've been frowned upon because I have failed to meet someone else's standard. People have called me inconsistent because I'm "conservative" in some areas and "liberal" in others (which REALLY means that they agree with me in some areas but not others).

I've often heard people say that legalism means that you have to hold to some sort of standard in order to be saved. I'm not real sure about that. (Usually that comes from someone who is trying to hold someone to their standards LOL!) I've heard the talk, and unfortunately it has sometimes come out of my mouth (forgive me, Lord!!!): "She's a new believer. Once she is more mature in the faith she'll xyz." (Implying that she doesn't meet our standard because she just isn't a "good enough" Christian yet.) "The Holy Spirit hasn't revealed the truth about xyz to her yet." (As if we have the corner on The Truth about xyz.) That sort of thing doesn't doubt the person's salvation, but it sure does reek of pride and...yes...legalism. An adherence to the letter of the law while ignoring the spirit of the law. And unfortunately most of the things that people are legalistic about are things that are extrabiblical anyway, so it's not even God's law they are adhering to!

I pray that the Lord would smack me in the head when I even come close to acting like a Pharisee....

Monday Madness

1. Do you own a dishwasher (and if not, do you even want one), or do you have to do your dishes by hand?
DISHWASHER ALL THE WAY.
2. Do you put your dishes away immediately after washing them?
As in, right after the dishwasher gets done washing them? No.
3. In the warm weather, do you like hanging your laundry out on the clothesline to dry, or do you prefer a dryer?
I'd like a clothesline, but I don't have one.
4. How many loads of laundry are done in your household each week?
About 7-10 (depends on if someone wets the bed LOL).
5. Do you own a pet? If so, do you buy them presents for holidays? Do you consider your pet(s) spoiled? If you don't own one, do you think you will one day?
No pets, but we might have some sort of outside pet someday. Definitely no inside pets ever.
6. It's Friday evening and you're planning your weekend. What's on your agenda?
Probably some sort of yard work cleaning on Saturday, maybe some errands. Sunday is church and grocery shopping in the evening.

Personally I think it is getting harder and harder to parent these days, but I'm guessing that's not the case for most. Spunky posted about the School Breakfast Program and the government's hopes to increase participation.

Why don't they just take the children full time and let the parents check them out like a library book when they want to spend time with them? It seems to be the next logical step don't you think?

Wow, so let me get this straight...all I have to do is get everyone ready in the morning, which doesn't even include breakfast anymore, stick them on a bus, have them ride the bus to some sort of after-school program after school, and pick them up from there and take them to some sort of sport/lesson/etc.? So all I'll have to deal with then is supper (which is easy to do in the car by driving thru, doncha think?), homework, and bedtime. Cool - maybe 3 hours, 4 hours tops that I actually have to spend with my children and still call myself a "parent?" Where can I sign up?

NOT.

(Note, I know some of you (Barb hee hee) have your kids in some sort of institutional school, and you aren't really who I'm talking about. It's the push by the government, and sadly, by society in general, to outsource our parenting to other entities. The mainstream parent goes along with it with absolutely no clue.)

I'd like to introduce you to some imaginary friends in our home:

Lucy Thomas - L's first and favorite. Don't let the name confuse you - Lucy Thomas is a boy. Yesterday he was L's husband, except he was at work. When I asked her what he did for a job, she said he crawled around under the house killing something (can't remember what she said) and killing snakes. He is also a firefighter. Lucy Thomas is involved in nearly every make-believe thing L (and C LOL) does. Whenever he needs to take on bodily form, he is very large teddy bear.

Hoop-Loop - another boy, except I get the impression that Hoop-Loop isn't very nice. He likes to tease C. (Even C plays with L's imaginary friends LOL!)

Inna - We don't hear much about Inna, but she occasionally shows up. Usually she takes the form of a Dora the Explorer cuddle pillow.

C and L also have named pretty much every stuffed animal they play with (which is a LOT):

George - he is a Ty Beanie Baby "Schweetheart." C won him playing Bingo at a thing at church. HE IS C'S BELOVED STUFFED ANIMAL. J loves him too, and I am trying to win auctions for him at ebay because they fight over him constantly. :-P

George's Mom (yes that is her name LOL) - she is one of those old sock monkeys, except she is missing an arm

Benjamin (may he rest in peace) - George's baby brother. Benjamin was made from a styrofoam ball painted brown and a brown pipe cleaner. C made him in children's church. Oh the excitement. That afternoon I heard George's Mom "at her ultrasound." "Look, here's the head, and the tail, and the arm, and here's the head again...." But S got a hold of Benjamin...which is why he is no more.

Austin - a little beanie-like puppy.

Sarah - Austin's twin sister.

And then there is the Cat Family:

Bob - an orange tiger that USED to growl. C is DYING to have a cat, and Bob has satisfied that for now.

Sarah (yes, another Sarah!) - she is a fluffy white kitty with a lavender bonnet

Tyrone, Tasha, Hoplo, and Uniqua - these came from McDonald's Happy Meals. (We LOVE Happy Meal toys around here!!!) I CRACKED UP when the kids named them, and I was thinking they were sooooooo creative! But as it turns out those are names from the Backyardigans or something like that!

What is so funny about all of these is that both C and L know exactly who is whom, their stories, how they are all related, etc. I LOVE it when they play Cat Family or something like that. Unless Hoop-Loop comes and ruins the fun! ;-)

I've been tagged again - this time by Sal.

Ten Questions to Ask at the Start of a New Year or On Your Birthday

There are actually 31, so I'll give them all a shot. (We'll see how it goes!)

1. What's one thing you could do this year to increase your enjoyment of God?
Pray more.

2. What's the most humanly impossible thing you will ask God to do this year?

Have me be the mom He wants me to be. There is absolutely no way I can do it unless He does it through me.

3. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your family life this year?
See #1 and #2.

4. In which spiritual discipline do you most want to make progress this year, and what will you do about it?
Once again, see #1. What will I do about it? Still trying to figure that out, but I think one major thing is to make sure I set apart a time for prayer each day in my schedule.

5. What is the single biggest time-waster in your life, and what will you do about it this year?
Probably the internet. Our new schedule should help with this, since I'll only have particular times when I'll be able to get on it.

Although I think another time-waster, though it's less obvious, is simply not knowing what to do or when to do it. So I sort of "flit" aimlessly, OR I get distracted on my way to do something. A schedule should help with this also.

6. What is the most helpful new way you could strengthen your church?
Hmmmmm, I'm not sure about a "new way," but I'm planning to get more involved.

7. For whose salvation will you pray most fervently this year?
My children's.

8. What's the most important way you will, by God's grace, try to make this year different from last year?
More order to our days. It will definitely be by God's grace since I still have no idea just HOW to get it to work with my dh's (lack of) schedule!

9. What one thing could you do to improve your prayer life this year?
Actually have a set prayer time.

10. What single thing that you plan to do this year will matter most in ten years? In eternity?
Teach my children the Bible.

11. What's the most important decision you need to make this year?
Oh my. I honestly have no idea. We don't have any PLANS for the year that would involve an "important decision," but I'm sure something will come along!

12. What area of your life most needs simplifying, and what's one way you could simplify in that area?
Our stuff. And I can simplify it by getting rid of most of it.

13. What's the most important need you feel burdened to meet this year?
The need for my children to have more order to their days rather than everyone (me included) just flying by the seat of his/her pants. No one knows what to expect, and we need a routine.

14. What habit would you most like to establish this year?
A routine!

15. Who do you most want to encourage this year?
My husband.

16. What is your most important financial goal this year, and what is the most important step you can take toward achieving it?
Severely decreasing our debt. At a minimum getting our credit cards paid off. That is a MAJOR task, and definitely a God-sized one. The most important step is to simply continue what we've been doing - cutting back on the non-essentials and snowballing our debt.

17. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your work life this year?
Come up with a schedule and stick to it.

18. What's one new way you could be a blessing to your pastor (or to another who ministers to you) this year?
Praying more fervently for him.

19. What's one thing you could do this year to enrich the spiritual legacy you will leave to your children and grandchildren?
Make sure that I live what I teach my children about the Bible.

20. What book, in addition to the Bible, do you most want to read this year?
The Lord of the Rings trilogy.

21. What one thing do you most regret about last year, and what will you do about it this year?
Expecting some sort of routine to our days (and nights - ugh) to come together on its own. I know now that I need to make it happen.

22. What single blessing from God do you want to seek most earnestly this year?
That's a toughie since I'll take any blessing He'd like to give me. But I guess if I had to choose it would be for G to own his own faith and for me to see fruit in his life.

23. In what area of your life do you most need growth, and what will you do about it this year?
Serving others even when I don't feel like it. I think the only way TO do it is to just suck it up and do it LOL!

24. What's the most important trip you want to take this year?
Since I never go anywhere unless I am moving LOL, I'd take any trip! ;-) But I wouldn't mind going to some sort of WholeHearted Mothers Conference or something like that.

25. What skill do you most want to learn or improve this year?
Organization that actually LOOKS organized.

26. To what need or ministry will you try to give an unprecedented amount this year?
Our church.

27. What's the single most important thing you could do to improve the quality of your commute this year?
Be dressed. (Since my "commute" consists of about 6 steps downstairs. ;-) )

28. What one biblical doctrine do you most want to understand better this year, and what will you do about it?
Honestly I just sort of think on stuff as I'm presented with it. But I'd like to do an in-depth study on parenting. (I know that's not really a "doctrine" though!)

29. If those who know you best gave you one piece of advice, what would they say? Would they be right? What will you do about it?
Suck it up and do it. Yes, they would be right. I'd like to say that yes, I would just suck it up and do it.

30. What's the most important new item you want to buy this year?
A new house.

31. In what area of your life do you most need change, and what will you do about it this year?
See #17 and #29.

Let's see...I think I will tag:
Sprittibee, Catez, and Chewy Mom.

(Copyright © 2003 Donald S. Whitney.

Copyright Disclaimer: All the information contained on the Center for Biblical Spirituality website is copyrighted by Donald S. Whitney. Permission granted to copy this material in its complete text only for not-for-profit use (sharing with a friend, church, school, Bible study, etc.) and including all copyright information. No portion of this website may be sold, distributed, published, edited, altered, changed, broadcast, or commercially exploited without the prior written permission from Donald S. Whitney.)

I'm actually getting food from my garden!!!! So far I have harvested 4 zucchinis and 4 kidney beans. LOL!!!! Still growing: several zucchinis, an ear of popcorn, a slightly-larger-than-softball-sized pumpkin, a racquetball-sized pumpkin, several more kidney bean pods, and about 5 carrots.

I'm doubtful about my watermelon plant - shouldn't there be something there by now? LOL

Next year we have already decided that we'll be able to add in additional rows. Our garden is somewhat stair-stepped, and we only have one row on each "step." Now to figure out how to keep the deer (or whatever critters) from jumping the fence and eating my cantaloupe plants....

Woo hoo it's Aloha Friday!!!

Tell us something about yourself that might surprise your readers.
I enjoy pulling weeds.

How many houses/apartments/royal castles have you lived in so far in your life?
14. The longest I've ever lived at one address was 6.5 years - ages 13-19. Oh wait, I lived in one house from when I was 4-10, and I'm not sure what time of year we moved into it...so it may be somewhat of a tie. Since I'm almost 31, that's a little over 2 years at each address on average. How sad is that???

Link to a news story from this morning you think might be interesting to us!
Wisconsin Program Helps Illegal Aliens Get Mortgages
Good grief.

Daddypundit shares his thoughts.

As essentially a redneck (of sorts LOL) by choice, I found this post at Animate Matters too funny (and most likely quite true LOL!)

Lucy Ricardo


What classic sitcom character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


(Virginia eat your heart out! ;-) )

Spunky posted an additional post about CTBHHM. I hadn't delved into the testimonials at No Greater Joy (can't stomach it, to be honest), so I applaud her for finding what she did.

Aloha Friday!

What is the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten? Did you know what it was when you ate it?
Gosh, I have no idea. I'm not real big on trying things that might be "strange." LOL!

What’s your #1 method of communication with people? Email? Telephone? IM? Actually talking in person?
IM, hands down.

Link to a news story from this morning you think might be interesting to us!
Oh LOL I already did. :-)

Friday's Feast is a day late - sorry!

Appetizer
Do you get excited when the season begins to change? Which season do you most look forward to?
I get excited when spring rolls around. I like warm, sunny weather, and I LOVE all the new flowers and green everywhere.

Soup
What day of the week is usually your busiest?
During the school year it would be Wednesdays because the kids have AWANA at church. Those days are usually pretty crazy for us.

Salad
Would you consider yourself to be strict when it comes to grammar and spelling? What's an example of the worst error you've seen?
Yes. I have a weird knack for finding typos and such in published materials. I've seen tons of different things, but I think one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use "So&So and I" as the object of something. UGH!!! LOL!

Main Course
Who has a birthday coming up, and what will you give them as a gift?
C's birthday is TOMORROW!!!!! He will be 7. We got him a set of glow in the dark planets that hangs from his ceiling.

Dessert
If you could have any new piece of clothing for free, what would you pick?
A nice denim skirt. I don't have one.

School District Steals 'Christmas' in August Come on. Doesn't the ACLU have anything better to do than to get all freaked out about calling Christmas Break "Christmas Break"??????? SPARE ME.

Over on my sidebar is a nifty little thing. You can click on my guestmap and let me know you were here and whereabouts you live. Sort of a silly little thing that looks fun. :-)

I've posted an important comment on Chapter 15's review.

Chapter 17 is my favorite chapter of this book.

Titus 2:4-5:"That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children...."

Page 177:

The most important thing a mother will do for her children is to create an atmosphere of peace and joy by deeply loving their Daddy and being satisfied with life.

and page 178:

How do you love your children? Let these 75 homeschooled kids [that were surveyed] lead you to the important truth: Love their daddy. Honor their daddy. Obey their daddy. Forgive their daddy.

So true. It's essential to my relationship with my children that I have a right relationship with my husband. My children must know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I love and respect my husband. If I am not a good wife, I am not a good mother either. (And the same goes for the husband. I have known many a father ruin his relationship with his children because he didn't treat his wife as the Bible commands him to.)

Mrs. Pearl shares a letter from a woman who, IMO, is so typical of a Christian woman in today's society. (Although, to be fair, I'm running into more and more women who are breaking free from the world's lies - yay!) This woman is a mother of 5 children who go to a Christian school. She is stressed out because she does not have a close female friend to share house duties with. (How much housework could there be with her home by herself during the day??? Anyway....)

My biggest need is for help physically in caring for the housework and someone to sit in quiet worship with me. I need at least 4 hours per week of meditation time, self-actualization time.

I'm sorry, but SPARE ME. That is a bunch of hooey. And apparently Mrs. Pearl agrees:

Your divine calling is to serve your family. True worship of God is not dependent upon other people or special circumstances, nor does it require a time of meditation. The Spirit of God is present when you wash the dishes or pick up the dirty clothes, and he is there while you prepare meals for your family in the evening. *snip* Your seeking of "self-actualization" in the name of spirituality is a mixture of foolish psychology and emotional insecurity.

James 1:27 says:

External religious worship [religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.

So what is "religion?" It isn't 4 hours of meditation time. It's serving your family

by tying your little one's shoe strings, reading a book to your toddler, telling a simple Bible story to the whole gang, and making sweet love with your husband.

Mrs. Pearl discusses how essential it is that we train our children. And by "train" I don't necessarily mean "discipline" (though of course we need to do that too!). What Mrs. Pearl is referring to on pp. 182-184 is "showing them how to" do different things. It's showing them what life is all about.

Some mothers treat their children as I treat my cows. I make sure they have good things to eat, clean water, and a place to exercise. If they show any signs of sickness, I attend to them immediately. This is good for cows, but if you raise kids like that, you're going to have a brood of little dummies. Unlike your care of the cows, the training of your children is the deepest expression of your love for them.

Training children means you involve them in your life and in your duties. And you get involved in THEIR lives.

She also discusses how vital it is that mamas are home with their children. Page 184:

Just because you happen to be the birth mother of a child does not make you THE mama of that child. If you hurriedly get up in the morning and rush your little one off for someone else to dry his tears, feed him lunch, and read him a book, please do not call yourself his mama.

Unfortunately this is all too common today. I know that there are situations in which a mother MUST work and have her child in some sort of day care, but I'd be willing to bet that those women would agree (if they are being honest) that they aren't their children's primary influences. But married, CHRISTIAN women are shipping their children off to "adoptive" mothers every day! I'm not going to say a woman is "in sin" for doing that (since the Bible doesn't), but I would like to ask them, "Is this really what is best for your child, according to Scripture?"

One eyebrow-raising thing I found in this chapter is that once again Mrs. Pearl warns against women forming close relationships with other women:

There is a grave danger in becoming emotionally dependent on other women. Too many times I have seen this lead to something abnormal and sick.

(She does add, however, "Your husband and God should be the ones to whom you turn for emotional support and intimacy." That is true to an extent. I can't tell if she is condemning ALL close female friendships or just ones in which a women is foregoing an emotionally intimate relationship with her husband for one with a female friend.)

This chapter was convicting and encouraging for me personally. I struggle in this area since I'm not really a "kid person" by nature. I am passionate about children but don't have a natural "gift" to act out that passion. A few years back we were living in survival mode, and still today we are reaping the consequences of that. So I'm having to do a lot of backtracking, mending, and string-tying. I pray daily that the Lord would repay us for the years the locusts have eaten. :-)

You can tell when S typically nurses. Just look at when I usually post on here. :-D

Sometime last week I had an epiphany. We have a large family.

I know, I know, y'all are probably thinking, "DUH, Keer." But it just hit me that we have been trying to function like a small family, and when you have a large family you just can't. Until S came along we were more of a big Small Family. And I think with her we crossed over and became a small Large Family. It seems like something so minor, but in a way it changes everything.

Clothes storage for large families is different than it is for small families.

Toy storage is different.

The type of cookware a large family needs is different.

A schedule of some sort is more necessary. (At least around here it is!)

Chore needs and assignments are different in large families.

Even something as minor as toothbrush organization can be a hurdle a large family has to overcome.

As I said, we have been trying to do things the Small Family Way, and it just AIN'T working!!! So now I'm scouring the web, searching for sites that might give me some suggestions. (Oh to be a fly on Michelle Duggar's wall!!!) I'm on the MOMYS and QF digests, and I frequent the MOTHboard. I've also recently discovered www.lotsofkids.com, and I've already found some helpful suggestions on there.

What about y'all? Have you found the same to be true - you've had to adjust how you did things as your family got larger (not just "bigger" things, but the actual method involved as well)? Do you have any suggestions you could share with me? Any websites?

(Note, this is not to "bash" iLoveSchools itself. It sounds like it can be very helpful!)

iLoveSchools.com

is a free matchmaking service – for education! School teachers request materials and supplies while potential donors search for a teacher in need of their gifts of money or, new and used goods.

Just WHAT are my tax dollars being spent on then???????

Sparrow adds anotherthought to her review of Created to Be His Help Meet. This is EXACTLY why I cannot recommend this book.

J (age 3): Mom? Eating lunch? (Translation: Mom? What's for lunch?)
Me: You mean supper?
J: Supper?
Me: It's not suppertime yet. (It's 4:20.)
J: Popcorn?
Me (chuckling): No, we're not having popcorn for supper.
J: Popsicles?
Me: No, we're not having popsicles either.
J: Tomatoes?

LOL! Ya think the kid may be hungry? (If he would have eaten his LUNCH maybe he wouldn't be begging for food right now LOL!)

Awesome article: Deliberate Childlessness Revisited

(Hat tip: Amy)

Chickenpox Vaccine Cuts Hospitalizations

The newly released report is one of the first to evaluate the impact of the vaccination program in medical terms. CDC researchers reported that hospitalizations due to chickenpox declined by a whopping 88 percent and chickenpox-related visits to physicians declined by 59 percent in the eight years following approval of the vaccine.

And now the rest of the story:

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that before the vaccine, there were 4 million cases of chicken pox nationwide each year, resulting in 11,000 hospitalizations and 100 deaths. (Source)

So just what percentage of people with the chicken pox were hospitalized every year? .275% And what about the percentage of deaths from chicken pox? A frightening .0025%

When not many people (comparatively) are hospitalized from the disease in the first place, any reduction in the number of hospitalizations will seem like a huge percentage!

But the statistics sound good, don't they? :-P

(Nevermind that the chicken pox vaccine is manufactured with aborted fetal cells, which is the main reason we don't get it for our children.)

Since I'm somewhat of a prude and chapter 16 is about s*x, I'm only going to touch on a few points. ;-)

First of all, while I know that Mrs. Pearl isn't real keen on people going back to the Greek translations, I did anyway. Titus 2:4, translated in English says, "to love their husbands." The word translated "love" in this phrase is Philandros, which is essentially a compound word from Philos (friend, to be friendly to one, wish him well, he who associates familiarly with one, a companion) and Aner (husband). So the word for "love" has a slightly different connotation in this passage than Mrs. Pearl says it does (page 164):

No woman really loves her husband if she does not seek to please him in this most important area. If you are not interested in s*x, then at least be interested in him enough to give him good s*x. If you are not loving your man, you are in danger of blaspheming the word of God - "to love their husbands." The Bible says, "Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin" (James 4:17). Hopefully you just didn't realize that your lack of s*xual interest in your husband was sin, but now you know.

However, I guess if she didn't say that the word "love" in this passage was referring specifically to s*x, she wouldn't be able to cover this topic in this chapter, would she? :-P

Page 163:

When a woman is not interested in his most consuming passion, he feels that she is not interested in him. When a woman just "allows, cooperates, and tolerates," it leaves a man feeling sick at heart. If, to a man, s*x was just c*pulation, he would make his deposit and be satisfied, but to him it is intimacy, a merging of spirits, a way of saying, "I love you...I need you...I like you." A man's most basic needs are warm s*xual love, approval, and admiration. For his wife to be willing but indifferent, speaks of neither s*x nor love.

From what I understand, Shaunti Feldhahn's book, For Women Only expresses the same sentiment. Husbands would just about rather not have s*x at all than for their wives to just "put up with" s*x. They want their wives to participate and enjoy it. They don't really enjoy it unless they know their wives do too.

However, Mrs. Pearl doesn't leave much room for some sort of physical condition or emotional trauma that might cause problems in this area. Page 163:

There are a multitude of excuses women use to explain why they would "rather not" or why they "cannot respond" s*xually. I believe I have heard them all. Her husband knows in his spirit that all her excuses are just that: excuses for not wanting him.

Page 170:

Don't talk to me about menopause; I know all about menopause, and it is a lame excuse. Don't talk to me about how uncomfortable or painful it is for you. Do you think your body is special and has special needs? Do you know who created you, and do you know he is the same God who expects you to freely give s*x to your husband? Stop the excuses! Determine to find a way past your "excuses," and provide the pleasure your husband wants only from you.

Page 175:

Traits of a Wife Who is in Danger of Blaspheming the Word of God
*snip*
Excuses her lack of wanting to satisfy him s*xually on the grounds that ___________. (You fill in the blank. The "Excuses List" can be very long.)

I TOTALLY understand that some women are perfectly fine without s*x, and so they DO make lots of excuses as to why "not tonight." The old "I have a headache" line is a line because of that attitude! But Mrs. Pearl isn't referring to just those reasons - she is referring to anything that would cause a woman to say "not tonight." (I could read more into this paragraph and say that she's not saying that, but I'm taking her words as she stated them and will not assume something that she didn't write.) Got some sort of a physical problem as a result of a childbirth complication? Had to have surgery? Are you on some sort of medication that would affect this area of your life? Have you experienced some sort of trauma in your life like m*lestation, r*pe, etc.? Tough. You'd better suck it up, give your husband the pleasure he needs, and oh by the way, enjoy it too. If you don't you're blaspheming God's Word.

*sigh*

Page 169:

For a woman, s*xual expression starts in her mind and heart. Love is giving up your center, your self-interest. It is choosing another's needs above your own. A woman chooses to be interested or not interested in her husband's needs. *snip* She need not wait until she is stimulated to desire er*ticism; she need only seek to fulfill her husband's need. I have a tip for you: when you make your husband's needs central, you will get turned on to the experience and enjoy it yourself.

I have heard this from other sources as well. It's a good swift kick in the pants for women who are waiting to be "in the mood."

Mrs. Pearl takes an interesting turn, however. Page 170:

Hormones respond to stimuli. You remember the story of Ruth? She gave her baby to old Naomi to nurse. It is a fact that an old woman who has not had a baby in twenty or more years can produce milk in her breasts and be able to nurse a baby. It just takes the physical stimulation of the baby attempting to nurse to provoke her glands into producing milk.

Now, I'm not disagreeing completely with her. I have talked with women who have nursed their adopted babies. I have even seen an article where a MAN nursed his daughter after his wife died suddenly. (In that situation, it was solely for comfort rather than much nourishment!) However, this verse (Ruth 4:16) is not referring to that. Since Mrs. Pearl is solely relying on the KJV, which says "nurse," I'm sure that's where the problem lies. The Hebrew word used in this verse is 'aman, which means "to support, confirm, be faithful." There is an entirely different word in the Hebrew referring to breastfeeding: yanaq. That word is NOT used here, so no, Naomi did not take Obed and breastfeed him.

I think America is the only place where "nurse" means "to breastfeed" anyway. I've heard from moms (or I guess it would be mums, wouldn't it LOL) in Great Britain, Australia, or New Zealand, and the word "nurse" there means "to cuddle, care for, rock, etc." After I had my 4th baby, one of my night nurses in the hospital was British. I was nursing (breastfeeding) him, and she asked, "Oh, did you feed your other children too?" I'd never heard that before, and I thought, no, I let them starve LOL! But as I later learned, only a lactating mother can "feed" her baby. But anyone can "nurse" him.

So yes, I agree that hormones respond to stimuli. But I strongly disagree with her "Scriptural support" for the statement.

Mrs. Pearl does briefly discuss an*l s*x and why a wife should decline to participate if her husband wants to do this. She also discusses what to do if your husband ever molests your child. It's good to know that in SOME (albeit very extreme) situations even Mrs. Pearl says it's OK to not submit. I'm not sure I agree with what she says on these two subjects, but at least she doesn't say that women just need to stay quiet and let their husbands do whatever they want.

As I said, I'm not going to get into the "nitty gritty" of this chapter because, to be honest, it was quite embarrassing to read. I don't WANT to read how Mr. Pearl thinks that Mrs. Pearl is a "mighty fine minister." (Some women do find this style of writing refreshing, which is fine and is just a different of opinion. I don't.) The basics of the chapter (men NEED their wives in this way) were good. The extras (excuses are not allowed) were bad.

Sparrow has just posted her review of Created To Be His Help Meet. Short, sweet, to the point, and right on the money.

YOU GO BOY!

HUMAN EVENTS ONLINE :: Home Schoolers Are Challenging the Education Monopoly by Nathan Tabor

Ann does it again.~ Absolutely beautiful.

(Get out the Kleenex.)

I appreciate everyone's prayers. Not gonna spill the details on here (I may be blonde but I'm not TOO terribly dumb LOL!), but suffice it to say that while frustration was definitely justified, my reaction to frustration was not. *sigh* I still could use lots of prayer for wisdom for how to correct these too frustrating things.

Got this from Melissa.

Five Things You'll Never Hear Me Say:

1. Dh, can we please move back to Perryville, Arkansas? (Dh thought of this one, and he is RIGHT ON THE MONEY!!!)
2. Honey, let's build a barbed wire fence. (Dh thought of this one too LOL)
3. I LOVE to wash dishes. (And this one. LOLOL!)
4. Oh hey, my checkbook balanced within $10. Close enough.
5. Let's go tent camping!

OK dh and I thought of some more LOL:

Where's that anesthesiologist? I want an epidural!
I love co-sleeping.
Can I have a cup of coffee?
Let's have ribs for supper.
I just got back from a 2-mile run. And I feel GREAT!
Please don't play with my hair.
Mmmmmm gimme some more of that wintergreen gum.
Here, let me help you skin that deer.
Look at this new string bikini I bought!

Your Scent is Lemon Vivacious, tangy, and lively You are one gigantic ball of energy! What Scent Are You? Take This Quiz :-)

(LOL um, "ball of energy" is NOT how I would describe myself. But I do like the scent of lemons LOL!)

I need help. Please pray for me.

I enjoy looking to see what people searched for (if anything) when they find my blog. The #1 search is typically something about Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. #2 is something about Created To Be His Help Meet or Debi Pearl.

Today someone came to my blog by searching for "2005 alabama state swim meet boaz john". How much you wanna bet they did NOT find what they were looking for? LOL!

Ponder with Pam

(Hat tip: Hind's Feet)

It's Aloha Friday!

Do you have any phobias?
I have an honest-to-goodness fear of people vomiting. (It's called emetophobia.) It has gotten a little better, but I still think about one of my kids getting sick WAY too often. Currently my main source of anxiety is what to do with everyone else if one of them does get sick, or HEAVEN FORBID if I do. Eek.

Claustophobia slightly, but pretty much only in super tight situations. I even had an MRI once and did fine. (But I kept my eyes closed LOL!)

What’s your favorite summer movie so far this year?
I haven't been to the movies this summer. But we did rent National Treasure - can that count? LOL

Spread the spirit of blog aloha & pick someone off your blogroll for us to visit!

Visit Dawn, and be sure to read the comments. They are HILARIOUS!!!!!

From Friday's Feast:

Appetizer
Did you sleep good last night?
That depends on what the definition is of "sleep good." If it means "sleep about as well as you usually do," then yes, I guess so. But if it actually means "sleep in such a way to wake fully rested," then no. That would involve getting a certain 10-month-old OUT OF MY BED. :-P

Soup
What is your current computer desktop image?
A picture of said 10mo, except when she was only 6 months old, wearing a beautiful pink dress that a dear friend smocked for her.

Salad
When was the last time you planted something, what was it and where did it go?
Ooh ooh ooh! My garden! Not everything is growing (I think deer have jumped the fence or something), but I am going to have a bumper crop of zucchini and popcorn. One of my popcorn plants is getting tassels, and I have 5-6 3-4" zucchinis. Woo hoo!!!

I also have 6 strawberry plants that are growing VERY well. It won't be long and they will have filled the front bed where they are located, and next year I can work on berry production. Yahoo!

Main Course
What's your favorite condiment?
Miracle Whip (NOT mayo)

Dessert
Share a quote that you like, for whatever reason.
That's a toughie. I quote movies a LOT. Probably one of my favorites is, "My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." Not sure why except that I like his accent, and it's just catchy. :-)

Up until now I have allowed unregistered users to post comments on my blog. But some anonymous posters have felt the need to attack me personally rather than discuss things rationally and Biblically, and so now they have ruined the fun for other unregistered users. :-(

If someone feels the need to register and then post something rude and attacking, I'm just letting you know right now that I will delete your post.

As I said, I truly am sorry it has come to this. :-(

G is working through a poetry chapter in English right now. Oh my, you'd think I was killing the poor kid. A couplet is pure torture, I tell you! He emphatically told me the other day, "Poems are for girls."

Well, I was telling dh about the whole situation, and dh told me, "Oh man, I don't blame him. Poetry is so girly."

There you have it. It's hereditary. :-P

Edited to add: THIS IS A FUNNY THING, NOT INTENDED TO TEAR DOWN MY HUSBAND, as some have been led to believe (and therefore felt the need to post rude comments).

Planned Parenthood superhero terminates Christian protesters

Words fail me.

This time they are from my parents. :-)

My mom and stepdad have a brand-new hot tub. B, my stepdad, has been soooooooo looking forward to getting this hot tub. They've had some delivery issues and then installation issues , but they FINALLY got it installed. But before they could use it they had to shock it with the chemicals. It was finally ready for use...at 11 pm on a Friday night. B wanted to get in anyway, but Mom was pooped and said no way. And since he didn't want to experience his new hot tub alone, he waited.

Saturday morning he started tossing and turning around 5. Fluffing the pillows, turning this way and that. But Mom just (sort of) slept away. Finally at 6 he turned on the lamp on his side of the bed. Mom woke up and said, "What are you doing???"

"Oh, just reading," B said.

Mom thought, UGHHHHHHH, and tried to go back to sleep, but finally got up and started making some coffee. At which point B said,

"Well hey, since you're up, let's get in the hot tub!"

:-)

And just to prove how great a couple they are...now a funny from my mom.

I was talking to her a couple days ago, and we were discussing plans for her to fly out here for a visit. She said that she had tossed around the idea of being here in October for my birthday, but she has a teacher inservice and can't. She said, "I thought it'd be neat, since you're turning the big three-oh this year."

I said, "Mom, I turned 30 last year."

She said, "Oh my!" Pause. "Well....did I make it special?"

I'm going to fess up. Most of blogger-speak is way over my head. So I'm going to ask several questions, and I'd appreciate any and all help anyone could give me LOL!

1. What is a trackback? Why would I want it? How does it work? How do I add it to my blog? (I thought trackback wasn't available with blogspot??? Or is that just proof that I'm more clueless than I thought I was? LOL)

2. What is an RSS feed? On someone's blog I read that they only "read the feeds" rather than going around to all the different blogs. What in the world is this and how would one just "read the feeds?"

3. Say I leave a comment on a blog. Is there any way for me to go back to see if anyone replied to it, short of just remembering to go back? Is there a "trick" somewhere that I don't know about? LOL

4. With blogspot, I have the option to use blogspot yet publish it on my own site. Why would I want to do this rather than just using the blogspot space (like I do now)? And how does this actually work? Do I need special software or something?

OK I think those are the biggies. I'm sure I have more questions, but that's all I can think of off the top of my head. Thanks for helping The Clueless One. :-D

(Sorry it has taken me a while to get to this chapter's review. I'm still recuperating from our company's visit LOL!)

Chapter 15 begins Part 2 of the book. Part 1 described what a help meet should be like (supposedly, and we've established that Mrs. Pearl's definition of a help meet is sorely lacking). Part 2 offers practical advice on the responsibilities of a wife, as outlined in Titus 2:

Bid the older women similarly to be reverent and devout in their deportment as becomes those engaged in sacred service, not slanderers or slaves to drink. They are to give good counsel and be teachers of what is right and noble,
So that they will wisely train the young women to be sane and sober of mind (temperate, disciplined) and to love their husbands and their children,
To be self-controlled, chaste, homemakers, good-natured (kindhearted), adapting and subordinating themselves to their husbands, that the word of God may not be exposed to reproach (blasphemed or discredited).

In the KJV, the last part of verse 5 says, "that the word of God be not blasphemed," and that is Mrs. Pearl's focus in the opening section of Part 2:

Over the last several years I have asked hundreds of women, "Can you tell me the eight things God requires of a woman, which if she does not obey she will be quilty of blaspheming God's Word?"

To be honest, I haven't done a WHOLE lot of study on whether this verse is a complete picture of a wife's duties, or if Paul was telling Titus these things because they touched on problems that were going on in that culture and time. These characteristics are DEFINITELY ones that a wife should possess, yet we must always remember that the whole of Scripture reveals a much more expanded image of a godly wife.

The next several chapters discuss the different areas in which a wife "must obey", lest she expose the Word of God to reproach. Mrs. Pearl uses the order that is in Titus 2, so the first characteristic of a godly wife she discusses is soberness.

Page 147:

To be sober:To do one's duty, be moderate, self-controlled, thoughtful, and to learn to make wise decisions and judgments.

*snip*

A sober wife is one who faces the fact that she is no longer a freewheeling individual, with time to do as she pleases. She knows that marriage is a joyous, but also a grave, responsibility. She cannot be flighty and frivolous. She makes a commitment to be the best wife, mother, and manager of her home that anyone could be. She becomes the acting CEO of a great enterprise of which her husband is the owner.

Oh this is so true. I can't say it any better than that. :-)

Mrs. Pearl discusses the importance of a smoothly-run home.

When a woman soberly considers the needs, time schedule, and resources of her home, then she will be a more efficient help meet.

She stresses that the home should be a place of refuge and peace. So so true. (And I have such a long way to go - UGH!!!!!)

With as good as this chapter began, I hate that Mrs. Pearl had to move into bad examples, but since that has been the trend with the rest of the book, I guess I'm not too surprised. :-( She shares this letter:

Dear Debi,

I was totally exhausted yesterday when my husband came home from work. The children were sick. I have a new baby, and she was coming down with a fever. He came in and never inquired how I felt or how my day was. He started off by asking why the place was such a wreck and "when will dinner be ready," because it was the night for choir practice, and he wanted to get there early. He was rude, insensitive, and indifferent to my exhaustion, the kids' sickness, and everything else. He was so selfish, and it hurt so badly. What was I supposed to do? Reward this selfish jerk with loving service?

Jill

Dear Jill, It is your duty, your job, and in your best interest to reward your husband.

Debi

I'm sorry, but both are wrong.

When Jill's husband asked why the place was such a wreck, she could have simply said, "The children are sick, and I've been tending to their needs all day. I've done what I can, but their physical needs took top priority." When he asked when dinner will be ready, she could have said, "How about if we order a pizza?" with a smile on her face. She doesn't have to be rude BACK to him, and she should still serve him, but neither should she feel guilty that she cared for her sick children rather than keeping the house spotless, just so that her husband would be "rewarded."

And guilt is exactly where Mrs. Pearl goes with this, because she blames Jill for the situation.

No one would dispute that Jill's husband is insensitive, but two wrongs do not make a good marriage. One "right" can make a BIG difference in a marriage and change that selfish old guy.

The advice that Mrs. Pearl gives in this situation would simply encourage more of the selfish behavior in most men. And nothing Jill does can change her man, only the Holy Spirit can.

Always keep in mind that your job is to do a good job serving him, so planning ahead is a must. If Jill had done better at her job, her husband would not have been such a jerk.

So Jill is to blame for her husband's sinful behavior???

Your husband expects you to plan ahead. He plans ahead at his place of work, otheriwse he would lose his job. If you plan ahead, conflicts like this can be avoided,

I'm sorry, but we can't plan for everything.

Proverbs 19:21 - Many plans are in a man's mind, but it is the Lord's purpose for him that will stand.

The bulk of the chapter discusses practical tips on how to plan ahead with meals, how to simplify with meals, how to cook the meals your husband wants, etc. (LOL, notice the common thread?) Mrs. Pearl sings the praises of the crock pot, advises women to have meals on the table on time, recommends serving the same breakfast/lunch meals everyday, etc. I'd love to hear her advice for women whose husbands hate crock pot meals, do not come home at regular times for supper (as is the case with me), and who want a variety of foods. I see what Mrs. Pearl tried to do with these few pages, but it was somewhat of a waste of space since men vary SO WIDELY with their tastes, what they want in meals, etc.

Mrs. Pearl then quotes from a 1950s home ec textbook, "How to Be a Good Wife Today": Have dinner ready, prepare yourself, clear away the clutter, prepare the children, minimize all noise, don't greet him with problems or complaints, don't complain if he is late, listen to him, make the evening his.

"The goal: try to make your home a place of peace and order, where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit."

I like this, and I think my husband would too. If only I knew when he was going to be home LOL! (When he actually leaves the house for work, that is; many days he works out of a home office.)

The next part of the chapter...I'm not sure why it's even there. It's a letter from a woman who was a very anxious woman until she started following the Pearls' advice. The only thing that ties it in with the rest of the chapter is that

This letter shows how not getting our way often causes us to have a nervous, troubled spirit instead of the quiet (sober) spirit God expects us to have.

It just totally doesn't fit with the subject matter of the rest of the chapter, so it left me scratching my head.

At the end of the chapter, Mrs. Pearl lists traits of a good help meet:

A good help meet establishes a haven of rest.
She will adjust to her husband's time schedule and eating habits.
She will relax and enjoy her family, instead of worrying and fretting.

Oh, maybe the worrying and fretting part was where the nervous breakdown letter tied in???

(I had to chuckle at adjusting to my husband's time schedule...WHAT TIME SCHEDULE???? LOLOL!!!!!)

Finally, Mrs. Pearl has an assignment for us.

Think of an occasion in the recent past when you became angry or were hurt because your husband responded in a way that you felt was wrong. Keep in mind that the other side of the coin of being angry is being hurt. It is one and the same coin, and it buys the same results: a bad marriage and a strained relationship. How different do you think the end of the struggle might have been if you had kept in your mind that your job was to please that man?

*snip*

Remember, he doesn't have to be right or kind for you to react in a godly way.

There are many false assumptions here. First, that the wife only felt that the husband's response was wrong. What if it really WAS wrong, per the Bible? I agree, sometimes women just perceive things wrongly, but sometimes men just do the wrong thing. It's not just that the wife FELT he was wrong...he was WRONG, plain and simple.

Second, hurt and anger can be related, but not always.

Third, the implication is there that if we choose to not be hurt/angry, we'll have a good marriage and NOT a strained relationship. That is simply untrue. The only way to have a good marriage is when both parties are serving each other and obeying the Lord.

Fourth, our job ISN'T necessarily to "please that man." Our job is to be a HELP MEET, and sometimes that means helping them do the right thing (with a loving and submissive spirit), even if it's unpleasant for them.

Finally, "pleasing that man" isn't the only godly response. She is correct that his response doesn't excuse ungodly behavior on our part. But there are other godly responses that Mrs. Pearl doesn't even touch on (and insinuates that they are NOT godly responses).

Once again, the basis of the chapter was great. We DO need to be sober - temperate, disciplined, etc. I desperately need to be more "with it." (I do wish my dh had some semblance of a regular schedule so that the rest of the family could though LOL!) However, the potential is great for even very "sober" women to feel they are not doing well in this area, especially if "life happens" or if their husbands are jerks.

(I really like reading these types of things on other blogs. It helps to get a glimpse of what people are like. Sort of like people-watching, blog-style. :-) )

Appetizer
Briefly describe your living room.
A toy box with a stomach virus. LOL! Our living room is in our basement, and it contains our "broke college kid/newlywed" furniture. (Even though we aren't college kids or newlyweds anymore LOL!) The computer is down here also, and this corner is what my dh refers to as the "rathole." (It may look messy, but I know where stuff is! ;-) ) And toys. Toys toys toys. UGH. Too. Many. Toys.

Soup
List 3 things you'd like to accomplish before the end of 2005.
I'd like to get our stuff somewhat situated in our house. I know that decluttering is a neverending process, but I'd like to get the bulk of it decluttered!

Salad
When you're online, what do you spend the most time reading/playing/doing? Suggest a site for us to visit.
I read e-mail, read blogs (see my blogroll), and hang out at the Hearth Keepers message board.

Main Course
What would the title of your autobiography be?
Where He Leads Me, I Will Follow

Dessert
What time do you usually go to bed?
Around midnight.

Friday's Feast

Here is a great post reminding us just Who we are representing, even in the blogosphere.

(Hat tip: Sal)